According to Camel Sources (the East End Avenger) Carlos has stepped down to concentrate on his rejuvenated DJ career which is now blossoming to such an extent that some believe that his best Camel days are behind him.

Cossie G

Sources who drink at The Camel (a known hangout for budding members) have also said that Film Editor and TV Camerman Brent Spillane maybe looking to complete a membership application within the next few weeks.

Strom will need all of her calming influence.

You had to give her credit.

At the official camel club conference, Lotta Strom answered questions which dripped with acid, eager to find some dirt on the first ever foreign Camel President. Far from uncovering the dirt, the fishing club reporters merely confirmed the camel committees' beliefs that they had indeed signed the right woman.

Strom, a Swedish camel from near Stockholm, broke tradition by becoming not only the first ever foreign president, but the first ever woman to take the reigns.

Geoff 'Brash', club members favourite to take over the presidency, said that the appointment mirrored what was happening in the New Zealand political climate at the moment and was happy to be appointed Strom's right hand man.

Melbourne camel rover John Currie has also been appointed as Club Secretary after nominating himself for the role after a disappointing fishing period.

Whilst club members were intially up in arms at the appointment of a foreign President, time will tell as to whether Strom is fully accepted as Pres, but you can guarantee that she'll be trying to do something about it!.

Tragedy has struck the Camel Club yet again, leaving the club in complete dis-array with the unexpected and shock resignation of former president Mr R.B.Smith.

Members are said to be distraught at the loss of their long term leader who has cited the need to expand his horizons and further his travel experiences with his close friend Nigel.

Rodney has also left the Green Monster in the lurch as he completes his wind up operations at his London office in preparation for a return to Auckland early July to begin settlement proceedings. When asked whether or not he would be heading the New Zealand Camel society, he expressed his desire to be completely dis-associated with any future involvement as he undertakes his new role for Russell McVeagh as Corporate Fisherman.

In an effort to calm members, Raymond Shaw rushed back to London from the Woodley Salv Surf Challenge in South America and was instantly elected to the elite position. His first step was to bring in the highly talented fashion designer from Reiss clothing, former N.U.N, Mr Fraser Moors. Fraser’s new and stunning tartan designs complement his daring persona with a more traditional “get it doon ya” approach.

Conservative Racing Green is out in an attempt to remedy the current camel situation with some concerned double-humpers nearing gold club and “legend” status, you boys back home ?. Fraser’s designs could be the telling difference:-
Between a successful gaffing or an instant dismissal.

Raymond did stress however that his involvement was to be a temporary one whilst he recovers from an unexpected bout of Hepititas A, which has left him on the wagon for the past three months. When given the all clear to resume alcoholic consumption, he intends to step down as leader of the chosen ones and take a well earned break fly fishing.

In an effort to bring further stability to the club, Coran Striker (a reputed double humper and designer of the Streckertroll Lunch Rack Ranger II) was introduced at a recent Board Meeting at the Raymond Revue nitespot in Soho. Coran, the current Citibank DCCU Ordinance Chief and Top Gun of the Croydon Rifleman’s Association, has dedicated his recent efforts to organising a camel expedition to Nepal with ex-ghurka and fellow gun club member Jack Furtado. Coran puts down the trip to Nepal as an opportunity “too good to refuse”, but may be unaware of the 1997 Good Fishing Guide which lists the Nepalese jungle as a poor fishing zone. Gold club status looks imminent.

No news yet as to the demise of the Cobweb Club, but no doubt news will surface if these Camel’esses (now double-humpers) snare a willing spider. Rumours are however surfacing that the Cobweb Club may in fact be The Black Widow Club - a ruthless all women club (formed by Lorraine Babett), who have been terrorising unwilling Camels throughout Streatham.

NB: Raymond has also decreed the new guidelines for all existing Camel’s who fly solo out of the desert (and out of the Camel Club).
(i) Proof of identity essential
(ii) Phone number and identikit picture
(iii) Eye-witness account or blessing from fellow club member

Yes folks, for all those that thought that we’d forgotten and become “Camelled”, think again, because the Camel Club is back...bigger and stronger than ever before. So much so that there has been a splinter group break off from the Camel to form The Double Hump Club - only for those Camels with six months of active Camel service.

Raymond shows his dismay as his appeal for an injunction is over-ruled by Camel members.

The breakaway group, formed by Raymond “Tidy” Shaw is now looking to affiliate itself with “The Spinster’s Club” - a women only club formed by Jo Stotter, which meets once a month in south-west London to clean out their cobwebs. Shaw recently sought an injunction against The Woodley in an effort to stop publication of the Camel Club - due to the fact that he spent a week in Hospital having a kidney removed and a subsequent three weeks to recover. Unfortunately the injunction arrived too late to stop press, and after checking the Camel mandate it was decided by members that the time spent in Chelsea Hospital and the subsequent recovery period is not deemed to be “Free Time” and hence will be included in the Camel gestation period.

With the oncoming Woodley Salv Surf Challenge in El Salvador for 4 months, Raymond is considering becoming a exclusive Gold Club member (One Year Camel), which entitles the bearer of a gold card to exclusive camel previleges, such as 45% off Marty’s Marital Aids and a free visit to Lucy's Massage and Sauna.

Previous Camel Club El Presidente Karlos Korompis resigned in controversial circumstances recently in Bristol of all places and although there is no hard evidence, he assures the Club that it’s true (now based in Cyprus, conquest stories could now come thick and fast without proper authentification).

He willingly passed on the Presidency to the Scooters lead singer Rodney Smythe, a former President who puts his re-instatement down to his busy social calendar. Being a past Pres, Rodney knows just how the Camel should be run, and his appointment was greeted with satisfaction from fellow Camels in need of genuine leadership.



His recent efforts to get out of the Camel in Ireland and Liverpool with Woodley proved to be unsuccessful with Skinz in poor form as a Wing-Man. He has however had several nibs recently, but stated that “I’m happy where I am here in the Camel”. Never a braver word. Rodney has subsequently changed his image and is out there fishing with a new look and new hook so watch out !.

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